10/13/2008

Mind Clutter

I’ve wondered, lately, why it is I war against taking on leadership positions of any sort. Today, I had a new insight: mind clutter. With all the things I’m “in charge” of this fall, it isn’t that I don’t have any time to write, it’s that my mind is cluttered with the details of all those other things and can’t find the space to think about the stories I want to tell or the words I want to write! 

I don’t have this issue so much when I’m in “worker bee” mode. I just do the tasks I’ve agreed to do, such as driving kids to and fro practices and games and field trips or working at the admission gate or concession stand, and while my body works, my mind wanders. I think and plot and consider. Then, when a bit of real time opens up in my schedule, I’m ready to write.

 But these days my mind teems with to-dos and don’t-forgets. It constantly works over schedules and details, trying to ensure that nothing goes unattended. I guess if I only had charge of ONE thing, it wouldn’t be so stifling. But more than one leadership position has crowded out my “mulling” time and, thus, my creativity.

 I know it isn’t forever. In fact, when football season ends, things should get back to a more normal pace, even if it is still a frantic one. That is, of course, if I can steer clear of any other responsibilities being dumped in my lap! 

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