The Green-Eyed Monster

I find myself envying my daughter lately. I’ve never really done that. Never lived vicariously through her. But as I recently lived day after day after day with the unexpected jumping in and scrambling my life as I prefer it to be, I found myself green with jealousy.

After all, she’s a college student. With no one to worry about but herself. No real responsibilities except getting to class on time and making the grades to keep her scholarships. No need to drop everything should someone else need something. No one depending on her to make things run smoothly. No time and energy and money spent when an issue like air-conditioning arises. (Don’t you wish your house had a permanent maintenance man?) No need to figure out what’s for dinner, even though that does mean eating cafeteria food. No one desiring her to fit her life and schedule around theirs.

See what I mean? I keep thinking that being an empty nester will be nearly the same thing, but my friends assure me that isn’t so. And so I sigh and watch her carefree life, knowing she doesn’t appreciate the lack of people and things all vying for her attention. And yet—it drives me to pray. Not only my grumbling heart, but also for her. For there will come a day when she walks in my shoes, sacrificing her wants, her wishes, for the family God will bless her with.

And I pray she will do it far more graciously than I.