Trust has been a huge topic between the Lord and I lately. Seems like every teaching I hear, every scripture I read and every conversation I have comes back around to trusting God. Really trusting, not just saying I trust Him.
I have come to that place of trust in some areas of my life. Not so much in others. Just this past week I’ve been sliding into a funk over not having an agent. It seems like everywhere I turn I hear other writers talking about their agents. Writers that are on about the same level I am. And I’ve started feeling left out. I’ve been wondering what I’ve done wrong. Have I not been as persistent as I should? As personable? Is my writing still not up to par?
Now I do know that I am happy none of the projects that I’ve pitched to and had rejected by agents have come to fruition, because I don’t think I would have been happy with those projects and possibly those agents in the long run. I keep telling myself that somewhere out there is someone who “gets” me, someone who, on a professional and a personal level, will champion my work. But right now it feels like finding that person will never happen.
And then it all comes back to trust. Do I trust the Lord to do with my writing what He will—even if that never includes publication? Do I trust the Lord to give me the exact right agent for the exact right project at the exact right time? Do I trust that the Lord can make what He wants happen, with or without an agent in the picture?
I’m grappling with all of that as I finish this manuscript, one that I feel good about, one that has already garnered some attention. And still I struggle. Do I trust God—ultimately and always? The answer is yes, but sometimes getting my head to believe my heart takes a little while.
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4 comments:
D'Ann,
I can relate. I had an agent, but my writing still seemed to be going nowhere. Finally, I gave up my quest to be published. Then, in a set of circumstances that can only be described as a "God thing," I was signed by a great agent. Within a year, I had a contract.
I'm familiar with your writing. It's good. You've learned the craft. You've paid your dues. Now it's up to God's timing. Meanwhile, you have people praying for you. Hang in there.
Yup.
Wait. You're already finished that manuscript? You must have been a writing fool lately! Didn't you just start it?
It Will Happen! Don't despair...
I've been where you are and have a fat folder of rejections to prove it! For me it was about timing. My agent wasn't even an agent all that time I was searching. Who can describe the providence of God?
I do know you're passionate about this mss. and it will show in your writing and your pitches.
Praying for you.
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