Do you ever get stuck? I’m in that place right now. I guess you might have noticed I didn’t post on Wednesday. It wasn’t that I didn’t have time to write something. In fact, I had a piece written and ready to go. And then I second guessed myself. I took it down.
I find myself doing that a lot lately. Writing a facebook status— then deleting it. Writing a tweet— then deleting it. Even writing pages of prose— then deleting.
I’m stuck. I say what I have to say, or what the story says to me, then I read over it. I waffle. Not that what I’ve had to say is in any way bad. Or mean. Or inappropriate. But I worry that it is stupid. Or irrelevant. Or just . . . forgettable. Suddenly I’m so much more conscious of what other people will think about my words. Or worse yet, if my words will cause anyone to think of me at all.
In many ways, therein lies the answer. I’m thinking too much of myself. Assigning too much importance to the markings on my screen. And so I pray. Again. Fervently. I pray for words to flow and for my only concern to be whether or not the Giver of Words notices and approves. If they make Him smile. If they bring Him joy.
I’m stuck. But I’m working to get unstuck. Or rather I’m trying to be still, so that the Lord can free me from the mire of my own making.